Decolonizing Thanksgiving: Why Refusing the Celebration Matters

Every year around this time people ask the same question in softer and softer tones, as if whispering it can make the truth less sharp: “Can’t we just celebrate Thanksgiving without the history?” Or “What if we call it Friendsgiving instead?” Or “What if we focus on gratitude and family and ignore everything else?”

But there is no way to separate this day from what it is. There is no version of Thanksgiving that exists outside its violent origin story. No rebrand, no potluck with a cuter name, no curated tablescape can remove the bones this holiday was built on.

It is what it has always been. A celebration of genocide. A national ritual of erasure. A story crafted to justify what happened to Native peoples and to keep the settler imagination comfortable.

Tending Futures is rooted in truth telling, memory and generational care. That means saying the thing out loud, even when it challenges the norm. Especially when it challenges the norm.

Thanksgiving was not a peaceful meal between friends. It was not a moment of mutual harmony or shared abundance. It was created by the settler state to mask the mass violence, land theft, forced assimilation and cultural destruction that shaped this country. It became federal tradition at the same time Indigenous children were being kidnapped into boarding schools. It grew in popularity while Native nations were starved, relocated and nearly erased from their homelands.

The sanitized story isn’t harmless. It teaches children that the violence never happened or that if it did, it doesn’t matter anymore. It teaches adults to feel entitled to the land beneath their feet. It teaches everyone that Native peoples only exist in the past tense.

But we are still here. Our nations are still here. Our languages are still here. Our ceremonies are still here. And so is the trauma that this holiday refuses to acknowledge.

FRIENDSGIVING IS STILL THANKSGIVING.

Renaming it doesn’t make it ethical. Changing the table decor doesn’t make it harmless. Gathering with people you love is beautiful but choosing this specific day and pretending it is neutral is not.

If the only way to feel gratitude is to do it on a day tied to genocide, we should ask ourselves why.

There are 364 other days to cook meals, gather with friends, express thanks, rest and celebrate community. You can create new traditions that honor the truth instead of participating in rituals that erase it.

This is not about shaming families. It is about shifting culture.

Divesting from Thanksgiving is a step toward:

• refusing to participate in a national myth that justifies Indigenous suffering

• interrupting patterns of erasure and harm

• teaching children honesty, empathy and critical memory

• showing your values through action rather than performance

• honoring Native peoples in the present, not in costume or nostalgic fantasy

It matters. It has impact.

Every year more people choose not to celebrate. Every year more communities show up to Day of Mourning events instead. These small acts become cultural waves.

What You Can Do Instead:

1. Attend a Day of Mourning or Solidarity Gathering

Many cities now host their own events, teach-ins or community circles that center Indigenous voices.

2. Visit Local Native Communities

If you are in the Gulf South or within driving distance, come join us in Poarch for the annual powwow on Thursday and Friday. It is a vibrant reminder that Native peoples are alive, connected, joyful and still practicing all that was meant to be taken from us. Bring your family. Bring your heart. Show your children what living Indigenous culture looks like.

3. Redirect Your Resources

If you were preparing to spend money on a lavish meal, decor or travel, consider donating that instead to the Earth and Sky Collective Fund. Your contribution supports Black and Indigenous Women and Two Spirit peoples with care and dignity, rooted in community reciprocity. Give where it grows.

4. Create New Family Traditions

Make this the year you shift the story. Some ideas:

• Create an altar to honor ancestors and the Indigenous peoples of the land you live on

• Cook a meal featuring ingredients native to this region while learning their history

• Spend the day in service, mutual aid or ceremony

• Teach your children the real history in age appropriate ways

• Go outside and talk about land, stewardship and belonging

Gratitude is beautiful. But gratitude grounded in truth is transformative.

Decolonizing Thanksgiving is not about rejecting connection or joy. It is about refusing to place connection on top of someone else’s erasure.

Our communities deserve better stories and better traditions. We deserve practices that honor the land, honor our ancestors and honor the people still fighting to reclaim what was taken.

This year choose rupture instead of routine. Choose truth instead of myth. Choose care over comfort.

And if you feel called, join us in Poarch or support the Earth and Sky Collective Fund. Let your gratitude move resources, relationships and culture in the direction of healing.

We can’t rewrite the past but we can refuse to repeat the story that harmed us.

This is how we tend to our futures.